My feelings have changed, again!

I know what you're thinking. 'What the hell', right? But I did tell you I'm a crushaholic. My feelings change a lot. But to be fair, Smile was a proper long crush. Haven't had one of those in a long time but it feels good to be finally free of her grasp. Feels like I can breathe again. I think it's because I definitely had no chance with her and having to see her everyday in school was killing me. But now...


So basically, my current crush is Swan, from my normal blog. Swan is... unique. She's funny, bubbly and cute. Typical descriptions, yet unique, somehow. I have no idea how she caught me. Maybe because I never really knew her until I chilled with her in town. Don't really know if I could date her... The thing about Chinese girls are they take dating really seriously. All I'm looking for are simple dates where a guy and girl goes out together just to get to know each other, but 90% of Chinese girls think dating is proper serious and is all about commitment and stuff. That's why they hardly date cos they wanna make sure the guy they're dating is the one. Bullshit. Why can't they just chill and give the guy a chance?


Anyways I'm going off topic. I dunno, Swan just seems.. So cute. When we were at Ming Moon with some other people, I sat in the middle next to her. When we chatted, I looked right into her eyes and it just melted my heart. This girl, I wanted to kiss. But from experience, a Chinese girl would never do it for fun. Kissing is fun. Why can't they just understand that? It's not that important. Now I'm just assuming Swan is like the typical Chinese girl, although she might not be, but I'm not gonna risk it.


Problem is, she seems so friendly with everyone, it would be impossible to find out if she had affection for anyone. Why is she so complicated to figure out? Man, I have to go for the impossible girls...


Now I'm not sure if she or Smile would be harder to get. Although me and Swan have some friends in common, the people we hang out with are completely different. So the chances I get to hang out with her are pretty slim. Sad times. By the way, another problem is... I think Jam knows I like Swan. I don't know if he knows that I like her, and if he does, I dunno if he does this to make me jealous. I told him Swan asked me to watch a film with her next week, and he keeps reminding me that she also invited him. I mean, fair enough, but he constantly reminds me as if to put me down. I'm not 100% certain if he's doing it on purpose, but it kinda hurts. And I can't even tell him that I like her either because I don't want him to not go to the cinemas because of me. I know I should trust Jam, but a part of me keeps saying no. I'm such a bad bro. Maybe we aren't bros. Anyhoo, I'll tell you how it goes, if I watch the film with her next week. 


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