Fake Friendship.

I don't know why I have to say this. I guess this secret blog is just a good way to lift the depression off my shoulders.


It has really affected me a lot. I thought I meant a lot to you, but I was completely wrong. How did it become like this?


First, you replaced me. It's like, promising to run with me at a marathon, but then sprinting off with a guy who you personally prefer and leaving me behind. Alone. What happened to promises? We promised to be best friends, don't you remember? I don't even know if you care about me anymore. I wish I didn't care about you.


Second, you don't trust me. Do you know what best friends are? They're friends who are so close, they trust each other completely. What's the point if you don't share your problems with me? The other day, you lied. I asked you a question and you lied. How do I know? I already knew the answer. I wondered for a long time when you were gonna tell me, and it turns out you never was going to. So I asked, and you told me something else. Why? Don't you trust me? Don't you know I got your back no matter what? It feels like I'm wasting my love for you, but I just can't help it. I wish I didn't care, but I do. I hate me for being like that. 


I wanted someone to count on no matter what the circumstances.  Someone I could consult with, from my smallest problems to the biggest mistakes. How did we drift so far apart? I could tell I was slowly being replaced, but now it's just so clear. It's like I have no chance if getting you back. This whole thing is a major problem for me, and I wish I could talk to you about it, but how can I when it's about you?


I guess this best friends thing is over, although you probably decided that yourself ages ago.


I can't believe you don't miss me.


✰